Psalm 61:2

The title of this post is the same verse that is under the title of my blog. I lived this verse last Saturday. I hesitate to write this post, because I don't want people to think I am "Woe is Me" because I'm not. But, I know there are mother's out there that have these same feelings, thoughts, and concerns, so I'm hoping to be an encouragement to them.

Are you a Mother? If your child is hurting, what would you do to help them? I know there are occasions that you tell them to "walk it off" (or, my favorite, "suck it up, princess"), but I mean if they are really hurting. I guess the better question is, What wouldn't you do to help them?? Would you buy special foods for the child that can't eat what "normal" children eat? Would you pay $50 for a 4 oz tub of lotion...oh wait, that's me. Would you drive 115 miles to see a Dr that may or may not give you answers? Oh wait, that's me again. My point here is, that there is not a mother out there that wouldn't do anything to help her child to stop suffering.

I don't research eczema online much. One reason is because there isn't much new that I can learn (if one more website tells me to "moisturize moisturize moisturize" I'll scream!!!) But, if I go several months between research sprees, I occasionally find something new. So, last Saturday, I had a few minutes (that turned into hours) and I thought, you know? I haven't looked into eczema lately....let's see what I can find. Well, I found stuff, and I lost it. Absolutely lost it. I honestly don't think I've ever cried so hard. This is the main reason I don't research eczema very often. I get upset and I have serious panic attacks. And that's exactly what happened.

It started when the first thing I read was "Babies that are breast fed don't have eczema as badly as those who weren't." Ok, that was hard to accept. I couldn't nurse Savannah, I tried, I couldn't. So, to think that I made this worse? Anyway, The real kicker came when I read that from scratching her eyelids so much, she can damage her cornea and go blind. I was in so much pain that I sobbed....and sobbed. It was that kind of cry that you have to tell yourself to breathe before you pass out. (If you're a mother, I'm sure you've cried those tears a couple times.) So, I did the only thing I knew to do at 11:06 at night. I was lead to the Rock that is higher than I. Because let me tell you, my heart was overwhelmed.

I grabbed my Bible, opened it up to Psalms and it "happened" to fall open to Psalm 55. I read it.....calmed down. Got upset again, and then decide to pray the chapter out loud. Let me share the verses that I already had underlined that God gave to me that night. If you want to read the full chapter, read it in your Bible. These are the cut down verses that helped me. This page in my Bible is now all crinkly with my tears, they are so powerful to those that suffer.

2 I mourn in my complaint
4 My heart is sore pained within me:
5 Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed me.
6 And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest.
16 As for me, I will call upon God; and the LORD shall save me.
17 Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice.
19 God shall hear

22 Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.
23 I will trust in thee.

I have never been calmed by Scripture the way I was calmed that night. By the time I got done, I really believed that God knows best, He loves her more than I do, and He has a plan. I don't know what that plan is, and I sincerely hope it doesn't include Savannah going blind. But, HE knows, and HE knows BEST!

So, as a Mother, you think you love your children more than life itself, and you do, I'm sure. But, you know what? There is an Abba that loves your children far more than you could ever try. I love the term 'Abba'. It is used in the Bible to mean Father, when addressing God the Father in a close, personal way. When I think of it, I imagine myself as a little girl curling up in my daddy's lap and getting the comfort that only he can give. Savannah has an Abba that loves her so much that He died for her, just so she can live with Him for eternity.

You know what? The Lord did guide me to some places that told me new things to try, and you know what? Her skin looks amazing right now. Well, except her eyelids. That's my biggest challenge. You can't put lotion on eyelids. :) Here are some pictures so you can know better how to pray for my baby girl.

Look at the silly look on her face! She is still so sweet spirited even with the misery she has to be in.

This is my "Look how amazing she looks!" picture. This is a result of the things I found that night. Trust me.....it's looks good compared to what it looked like last week.

Ice Storm 2009

I was just telling someone the other day that I thought it had been an unusually warm winter. It was 85 degrees last week. Well, yesterday and today have been terrible. It has sleeted (is that a word?) and snowed on and off all day.

We have a fairly sloped drive way. Sarah and I came up with the grand idea of letting the kids slide down the icy driveway. It was lot of fun.....until......we ended up in the Emergency Room. In one brave slide down the hill....standing....on a snowboard, Emily and her brave knight in shining armour, Mason...well....bit the concrete. Except Emily bit more than the concrete....she bit her lip.....clean through her lip. We vacillated back and forth for about an hour with various nurses and even a Dr on call, and decided to take her to the hospital. We thought it was on the brink of needing stitches, but turns out it really needed them, so I'm glad we decided to take her. When I say we, I mean Sarah and I. I took my "lived in Alaska for YEARS" driving friend with me. Anyway, Emily needed 6 stitches total. Three on the outside and three on the inside. She was SO brave. I didn't take my camera to the ER with me. grr...one of these days, I'm going to be better about that. Here are some pictures of the fun times, and the not so fun results.

So Proud!!

I got an e-mail from Brian today, and he told me a story about his day. He would probably be mortified if he knew I was telling this, but I'm too proud to keep my silence. :) Let me explain his job a little first. He is on escort duty. It has a professional name, but that's what we call it. The Air Force escorts nationals from the country to come on to the base to do contracting work. Since Brian is a higher rank than the other escorts that he's working with, he gets to drive the truck. From what I gather, this means, he drops them off at various locations, and drives around most of the day to see if they need anything. OK, that's his job. Here's his e-mail.

A cool thing happened at work today. We had a visit from the CENTAF Head Chaplain. He came over to speak with our flight. I was out working and I happened to pull up to the building because I was going to get a girl a water. Anyways I decided to stay and listen to the chaplain because it's pretty rude to walk out on a full bird. He gave us a little speech, told us a story and handed out calling cards to everyone that was there. He then begins to say that no good commander would leave an area without coining someone. So he asks who the top performers were. The MSgt that is in charge didn't say anything but one of the airmen yelled out "SSgt Moix". So I went forward, took the coin, smartly saluted, and took my place back in the crowd. I was not at all expecting that. It really made me feel good about what I have been doing to keep everyone happy. I don't do it for myself I just want to make sure everyone is OK.

Yay Brian! I'm so proud of him for doing his job so well. For those of you who aren't military, getting "coined" is a special thing. Brian just got a coin from his commander at the Christmas party...although it was in exchange for a case of beer that everyone knew he had NO use for (praise the Lord for his testimony). He also has a coin from the Chief of Staff of the Air Force. But that one was given to him by a friend that knew the Chief of Staff's security detail. This coin was truly special in that it was given to him for the good job that is recognized by his co-workers. Continue to pray for him!!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today was my birthday. Sigh. My 30th birthday. Yep, the big Three-Oh...OH! Is it possible? I stopped at 22. I really feel like a 22 year old sometimes. Then, other times, I feel like a 50 year old. ha ha I was NOT looking forward to today. Birthdays were a huge deal growing up, and that has been adapted into my immediate family. Without Brian here, I wasn't sure how the day would pan out.

It started last night when I got my first present. An Almond Scandinavian cake of my very own. Bonnie, from my church, makes the best cake, and she made me one for my birthday. (pictures below)

This morning, before 9 am, Sarah and Shannon showed up on my doorstep with the most beautiful flowers (again, pictures below) and balloons and very sweet children wishing me a happy birthday. When I got home, a very pretty birthday cake, made by my girls waited for me. How they got that cake made, cooled, iced and decorated in 1 hour and 15 minutes is beyond me. :) I got very nice presents and cards. Then, I got to go tanning (my little mini-message).

Tonight, I got to go out to dinner with all my girls!! Flor, Kalli, Elaine, Shannon and Tracy were waiting at the restaurant when Sarah and I showed up. It was a nice surprise, and I loved being there with my closest girl friends. Even the black cake and wise cracking cards made me smile. :) When I got home tonight, Brian was finally able to get through the phones and call me to wish me happy birthday.

All day long, I was told happy birthday by people on Facebook, and through e-mail. Carrie and Melanie called, and both made me smile. The day was so perfect. I am SO thankful for friends that wouldn't let me mope and eat ice cream all day. I love each and every one of you very, very much.

Now, enjoy the pictures.

Tracy gave me the one on the left. It is : With Affection: I love our friendship.

Sarah gave me the one on the right. It is: Sisters by Heart.

Catch Up Time

I haven't blogged in a while. It's been intentional. I keep saying, "Well, I'll wait until after this appointment." and the appointments haven't stopped. So, I'll try to keep a long story short.

Emily had a Pulmonary Functions Test on the 15th. She did very well, and they gave her an asthma plan along with an Epi Pen. She had an incident a couple weeks ago with a dog that involved coughing and swelling. Her inhaler solved the problem that time, but they gave me a pen in case she's at a place without her inhaler. They said her functions were good, and her medicine that she's on seems to be working for her.

My Cardiology saga lives on. I went to my primary Dr the day after Brian left, and she said that I was slightly iron deficient (something I've known for YEARS). She also said that my blood pressure is hard to take, and it's possible that people really can't hear it well, and that I do have high blood pressure. OK, whatever.

I went to the hospital on Monday for a sonogram of my legs. They were looking for blood clots. She told me that she couldn't give me results (the techs never do), but if I had a blood clot I wouldn't leave the hospital. So, here I am, so that answered that. I went back to my cardiologist on Wednesday for the results from all the tests I had done. They were all completely normal. She said she didn't need to treat me, and was sending me on my way when she all of a sudden decided that I needed a tilt table test. So, I did that today, and I have go back to get the results from that. It wasn't that fun, but it wasn't horrible. They strap you to this table and tilt you up to a 70 degree angle and leave you there. The nurse sits there and looks at you. The purpose is to see if your heart can handle all your blood pooling in your extremities. They try to get you to pass out. I didn't, so I guess that means I passed. My blood pressure was very very high, so I'm not sure what that means, either. They sprayed nitroglycerin under my tongue (not tasty) and my BP went down, and my heart rate went up. All normal things.

So, that's that. I have been sick with a terrible head cold/sinus infection thing, but I'm doing much better. Emily had a weird allergy thing going on for two days, but she is better.

Savannah's skin is horrible right now. She has an appointment to see an allergist in Oklahoma City the first week of February. Please pray that God will use this doctor to find something that will help Savannah. I know he is going to have to have compassion and a passion to help her, so I'm praying now for that. She will most likely have allergy testing which will involve drawing blood. Pray for the techs, and Savannah.....and mommy. :) For seven days before she goes, she can not have any of her itchy medicine. She is on a strong antihistamine for her itching. It helps her sleep at night. Please pray for grace for both of us during this time. That will start next Tuesday.

Brian is doing well. He has been told that he is doing a good job. The food over there isn't bad, either, he said. It is a 10 hour time difference, so he is still adjusting to that. He misses his girls, but we are able to keep in touch fairly well. Please let me know if you would like his addresses.

I guess that's about it. Today is my birthday, but it's not over yet, so I'll write more about that later. :) I have incredible, amazing, and wonderful friends who have made this day wonderful; despite my BEST friend not being here with me. Anyway, like I said, more on that later.

He Made It!!

Just wanted to let those of you who were praying know that Brian made it to his destination. It took him 52 hours total. They stopped in Ireland and then Romania and then on to the UAE. When he called, he was waiting on linens for his bed. He took his own high thread count sheets (he's kinda spoiled), but either doesn't have his bags yet or doesn't want to sort through them for the sheets. We didn't talk for very long, and the call was filled with, "Are you there?" The connection was not the greatest.

Anyway, he's there, so thanks for praying for him. I don't have an e-mail address or physical address yet. I'll let you know when I get one. Oh, he is in the United Arab Emirates. Here is a map. It's the little country labeled UAE on the "toe" of Saudi Arabia.

1 Down 119 to Go!

Ok, not really. Technically, his 120 days doesn't start until the 17th of this month. Anyway, you get the idea.

Brian left today for his deployment. We have really enjoyed the last couple days of being together. He had a lot to do during the day at work, but we tried to have evenings at home as a family. We took him to the Mission Support Squadron today to meet the other 4 guys that were going with him. We had been "warned" before hand that the commander would be there to tell him goodbye, and I knew that several guys from his shop were going to be there. My prayer request to everyone this morning, was that I wouldn't cry, blubber and embarrass Brian to death in front of everyone. Thankfully, the Lord answered that prayer. I think I got it all out last night. Twelve guys from Brian's shop, and the vice commander came to say good-bye to Brian. It was really nice.

The girls did fairly well. Savannah didn't go to the "farewell" place as she was very sleepy. Sarah graciously came and stayed with her for us. Emily went with us. She was sad, but we were "brave for Daddy".

They were required to travel in uniform, so at the airport, everyone was thanking them for their service. They were also given permission to use the Admirals Club (although I'm not sure if they did) and were upgraded to FIRST CLASS!! I'm so jealous. They are flying to Norfolk, VA tonight, and then he didn't know what was happening after that. Pray that everything is worked out and goes smoothly.

I have amazing, amazing friends. Sarah, stayed with Savannah while I took Brian to the bus, and then stayed with me all afternoon. When she saw what I was planning on having for dinner (it didn't look very good), she offered to get pizza for all of us. So, Tim went and got pizza and we ate dinner together. Tracy, brought flowers and cheesecake that both cheered me up a LOT. :) I've had people checking on me all day, and praying for me, and the prayers were felt and answered.

Continue to pray for Brian as he travels, probably for the next 72 hours or so. That he will be able to rest in airports and on airplanes.


Savannah saying goodbye to daddy. Pray that her little mind will adjust to the fact that he's not here. She is very close to her daddy.


Emily at the gathering place saying goodbye. It was SO cold (Dad, it reminded me of that first time we said goodbye to Brian oh so many years ago). The only jacket I had in the car was Savannah's...that's why it's so little.



My beautiful roses from Tracy. Every time I look at them, I smile.

Heart Tests

I had my stress tests on Thursday. There isn't much to report about them. The echo cardiogram looked neat to me! The stress test was effective. My heart rate had to get to 162, and it did, eventually. I had to wear a halter monitor for 24 hours. Let me just tell you how uncomfortable they are. These sticky things that they put on your are SO itchy!! I think I accidentally pulled off two of the wire thingies in the middle of the night. I'm not sure if I dreamed that or not. Anyway, I guess they'll tell me when I take it back. I was so happy to take that thing off yesterday.

I go back to my Primary Dr. on Wednesday, to discuss more blood work. Then, I go back to the cardiologist for the results from the stress tests on the 21st. Thanks for your continued prayers!

Pre-Deployment

**WARNING** this is a long blog!

Brian and I like to go away together before and after his deployments. The first deployment, we didn't, because it was very unexpected and we had a 2 week old daughter. When he got back, we went to Myrtle Beach for a couple days. The second deployment, we went to Atlanta for several days, and when he got back, we went to Washington DC. Grandparents who are always willing to take children are GRAND! This time, I had a little idea a couple months ago, and approached Sarah about spending the night with my girls, so Brian and I could go to Dallas for the night. We really just wanted to go to the Melting Pot restaurant. She, of course, agreed, and we left yesterday around 2:00.

We went to our hotel first and changed into nice clothes for our amazing dinner. That place is so good. If you have never been there, you need to go!! Take your wallet, and make sure it's full, but it's worth every penny....er...dollar. We had an amazing time, yadda yadda. The point of this post is Sarah's time with my girls. She is an amazing babysitter (think Mary Poppins). She isn't one of those "Go play" babysitters. She is a "Let's do your hair, dress up and have a tea party" kind of babysitter. Anyway, here is a shortened version of the "blog" she left me of their time together. I've taken out some things that would only make sense to us, but this is so cute.


To my Blog-Lovin’ Friend,

Here is my detailed account of our overnight together. I am no blogger, so you are stuck with my ramblings. I hope that you and Brian had a great time…We sure did! SO…you takin' my kids next weekend???? :o)

Love you loads!

2:00pm Jenn and Brian leave…let the fun begin!

2:00-3:00pm The kids played outside while Van napped. I enjoyed a quiet house for one entire hour! Hmmm…it’s fun being at someone else’s house and having no guilt about not “getting things done!”

3:00pm Van woke up from her nap! Asked immediately where her Mommy was, but having no concept of time yet, was not upset that Mommy was “out with Daddy.” We’ll see how she feels in say…15 hours!

3:00-4:45pm The kids continue to play well together…no blood, no screaming, no broken bones

4:45pm Time for dinner…Time to wash your hands, and arms, and faces, and …the kids are SOOOO dirty. Sorry, Jenn! Meme would cry to see her pretty babies covered in dirt and grass like two hooligan boys! :o)

4:45-5:15pm Gourmet dinner of Pancakes! Yay! Edible Hearts, flowers, swords, inch worms, and Mickey Mouse! Everyone ate several. (Even though they weren’t perfect works of art! Ha Ha!…Emily declared that I *insert sweet little girl voice* "shouldn’t worry and she would still eat her 'Mickey Mouse' even though I messed up and didn’t do a very good job on hers." LOL!!!!!!!!!!

5:15-6:00pm Went on an expedition to find June Bug larvae…Found 3! Lost “Fred” and the count was down to 2! Despite the dirt on Vannah’s mouth we really don’t think she ate it! Don’t worry, the other two larvae are safe on your kitchen counter in a plastic cup of dirt! :o)

6:00pm Time to come inside to clean up…AGAIN. Seriously, the girls have never been so filthy. Think of it as a mud-mask spa treatment…Does this count as “girl time?!?”

6:15pm Everyone is clean and playing nicely… Pah!!!! Who said it was hard to have 4 kids! We are about to do arts and crafts…haha, just kidding! I’m not that crazy!

6:20pm Vannah can no longer do without “Gong-gin,” and is more than happy to have the living room to herself. I don’t blame her…I think the play room is currently a den for pirates! May I just say that “Yo-Gabba-Gabba” is the DUMBEST show that was ever created…well maybe it runs a close second to Telli-Tubbies! (I don’t even know how to spell it…) I would have changed the channel if it were not for Van’s excited cries of “YO GABBA!!!!!” and the funny little jig that it seemed to inspire her to do when the TV announcer said it was coming up next! I think I prefer her 2 year old crush on “Dae-go!” :o)

6:20-7:30pm The kids are being great! Van is oh-so-silly and seems content to do “her own thing.” The “Steroid Monster” has still NOT reared it’s ugly head! :o) Bradey and Emily have given up their pirate swords for imaginary robot bodies--inspired by Wall-e! They each have their own handmade Lego weapon too! (Bradey has a bright future in weapon logy! Someday he will equip the planes that Emily will pilot!) Mason and I played Kings in the Corner and a few phases of Phase 10 under Van’s supervision! Oh, and let’s not forget the VERY stinky diaper promptly at 7:05! :o)

7:35pm Clean-up, Clean-up, Everybody , Everywhere, Clean-up, Clean-up, Everybody do your share!

7:45pm Well, we can see the playroom floor…as for proper bin sorting…well, did I mention that we could see the playroom floor? Time for bedtime snack! Yay for Popcorn! Van is still going strong!

8:15pm My Knight in Shining Stratus shows up! (After stopping by real quick earlier to steal a kiss, go give plasma, and then change the oil in the car…poor guy…hey hold on…just in time for bedtime…hmmm.)

8:20pm Bedtime! PJ’s on, teeth brushed, medicine taken, potty taken care of , and prayers said. The girls went to bed with no problem. Emily was sad that you guys weren’t here, but did not cry. After hugs and kisses, they settled right down and all is quiet on the monitor. (Emily changed into her pj’s in the bathroom and when she came around the corner to the play room, Bradey exclaimed--”Oh Emily, you look beautiful!” Ha Ha!

GOOD MORNING!

7:30am The girls are awake…I don’t think the sun is shining yet…

7:45-8:15am Breakfast! Well, at least for the girls and I. The boys are all still sleeping. Coffee is the first order of business…the girls wait for me to finish that task…somehow they know that Mommies need to take care of that first! Hmmm…Well trained????

8:15ish am The boys come out all sleepy-eyed. More breakfast orders and more breakfast chatter! :o)

8:20-9:15 am The “Sleeping Bear” emerges…I think he is overwhelmed with all the morning chatter! Ha Ha! The toys are already out and the larvae on the counter has been checked, poked, and nearly spilled…oops, escaped Roley-Poley walking across the counter too! **snicker, snicker….

9:15-10:00 am Time for the boys to head home to get cleaned up and dressed. The girls are subjected to Me and the hairbrush! Yay for dress up with little girls! Van hasn’t learned that she could be standing in front of my knees for an indefinite period of time while I play with her hair…Emily learned years ago and ops to immediately ask for a pony tail…”It doesn’t take as long as two!” she declares. She’s SOOOO boring! :o)

10:00-10:15am Down time with Noggin…our time is almost over. Wow, it flew by! The girls wait for the playmates to return and more fun to begin.

10:15am The boys are back!!!!!!!! Hugs all around…you would think that they hadn’t seen each other in days! They are already planning the day. Is it going to be outside or pirates? Van is content to stare at Tim and giggle uncontrollably for no apparent reason…she is a hoot! Or a “little charmer” already?!?! :o)

10:20-10:45am Playtime erupts!!!! And we made it!….No bumps, bruises, fights, or major catastrophes….AND not even a marriage proposal!

Countdown

We are heading into the home stretch of Brian leaving. It's been weird since we just got done with two weeks vacation. Here at Sheppard, the students leave over Christmas on what's called Exodus. From the Monday before Christmas until the Monday after New Years, there are no students. Since Sheppard runs almost completely for students, the other places around the base run on a very limited manning. So, you can't really get anything done deployment wise during the Exodus. So, here we are 7 days before the deployment and Brian doesn't have orders or anything else. Don't get excited, all that means is that he is going to be crazy busy the next 4 days. I was hoping he wouldn't have to work this week, but no such luck. Please pray for both of us as we are starting to feel the stress of it all. Brian, in that he has so much to do and me, in that I'm realizing I'm going to be a "single parent" for the next 4 months. I cringe to write that as I have a very good friend that, due to the army, was a "single mom" for 3 years. But, she understands that no amount of time is fun. Love you, Darla!

I went to the cardiologist yesterday. It's such a long story. I'll keep it short with she thinks I have high blood pressure. I really don't. I've never had high blood pressure. She said that I probably have, and the people that take it have been taking it incorrectly. Really? I'm sure I've seen over 1,000 nurses in my day, and I can't believe that they would have all taken my blood pressure incorrectly. Anyway, I go back on Thursday for a stress test and such.

Emily went to the speech therapist last week. She has a habit of putting her tongue in her teeth when she says her S's. It's not a lisp, because she can say SSSSS really well, it's just a bad habit. So, I have to take her for speech therapy. The school district called last night and said they offer speech therapy for homeschoolers, so I'm not sure which way I'll go on that.

Savannah's eczema is flaring up really badly right now. I finally took her to the doctor yesterday as it is on her eyelids and it was infected. You can't really put hydro-cortisone on eyelids. So, she gave me some ointment and put her on steroids. The next few days should be OH so fun (insert extreme sarcasm that you can only understand if one of your children has ever been on steroids).

On a happy note, Brian and I are going to Dallas this Friday to spend some time together before he leaves. We are going to Melting Pot and get to spend the night in Dallas. Last time we went to Melting Pot, we were so full, and it was so late that we had a very hard time staying awake on the way home. If you've ever driven from Dallas to Wichita Falls late at night, you understand. Sarah has SO graciously offered to stay with my girls that night. Pray that everything goes smoothly.

Well, I guess that's it.....isn't that enough?? We have a lot on our plate right now...please pray for grace and strength.

Our New Years

New Year, new background. Kinda plain, but I like it.

We have been having such a good vacation. I call it vacation because Brian is off work. He had to work 3 half days, but he's been home so much. We are taking advantage of every minute we have together. Here are some pictures of how we've been spending our time.


Here's our three super heroes: Superman, Wonder Woman (she has a red sash, but you can't see it), and Ironman


This is what Brian and I have been doing. This game was horrible!!!! We closed ourselves up in a box!


Isn't it pretty? Sarah taught me how to do this! ha ha


Emily and Savannah before the New Year's Eve service

Savannah went through a couple days where she would only take her nap in my bed...with me sleeping with her. Hey, it's a tough job, but someone has to do it.